


Radio Silence

by jellybeanbag



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Ex Raven Neil Josten, Ex Raven Robin Cross, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:34:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28864857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeanbag/pseuds/jellybeanbag
Summary: Years after an apocalypse broke out, Neil Josten, the boy who promised he would never stop running found a reason to stay. After escaping from the Raven's twice, Neil has to face his past head-on in the form of Kevin Day, a man he never hoped to meet again, and his self proclaimed protector- Andrew Minyard, who's proved to be more of a problem than Neil bargained for.Damn, summaries are a lot harder than I thought.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter One

Neil smelled the smoke before he saw the fire.

The smoke billowed into the air; thick and suffocating. Columbia. Neil’s heart dropped to his feet. The camp had gone up in flames. Neil had never spent any time inside the gates of Columbia but he had been living just down the trail from it for months. If Columbia was compromised it would only be a matter of time until his hideout suffered the same fate. 

He struggled to his feet from where he had been sitting on the bank of the river, and wiped his muddy hands on his jeans. Something akin to horror floated around in his chest and spiked an odd numbness down his spine. He hadn’t felt that kind of fear in a while, even the infected he had encountered couldn’t unsettle him as much as fire. The Infected were few and far between in the forest, but phantom flames haunted him every waking second and followed him deep into his sleep; unavoidable, and far out of his control.

The eerie silence that plagued the forest worried Neil for many reasons, one of which being the heavy feeling it tore into his chest, the void of nothingness served as a constant reminder that there would always be a calm before the storm. The silence meant a lack of wildlife. Hardly any creatures had made themselves known for weeks and Neil's growling stomach kept him painfully aware of it.

The fire had to be the storm. Neil couldn’t help the relief that flooded over him; at least the waiting was over.

The fire roared on only a few miles down the trail from where Neil stood and the drought ridden trees caught flame far faster than Neil could run with his lame leg. He'd wandered further from his hideout than usual, hoping to catch sight of any animal he could hunt with little avail. His backpack only carried a single squirrel and even at that, the poor thing was thin with starvation with little to no meat on it’s bones. The bow slung over his shoulder weighed him down more and more with it’s uselessness each day that passed.

Neil crouched down, grunting at the sharp throbbing pain that shot up his left side. He picked up the crutch he had discarded in the mud and pushed it under his arm and began back toward his worn trail.

Guilt gnawed at his chest almost fiercely enough to rival the growing thunder of anxiety accumulating in his throat. It’s not his responsibility to save those people, especially if the attackers are Ravens; he’d only be doing more harm than good in the end. He had to get out of there, there’s nothing he can do for them now. Besides, he’s hardly in any shape to fight anyone. Not with the pain shooting down from his hip with every step he took.

The sandy shore only lasted for a few seconds of walking before it was replaced by rocky earth, alongside the calm river that slowly merged into violent rapids. Neil found himself relying heavily on his hands to pull himself out of the banks, the rocks scratched at his palms and tore holes in his pants. Luckily there was no Infected in sight, or else he would have been nothing but a weightless corpse thrashing along with the current of the river. He couldn't survive both threats, not with the speed the Runner's could reach, his injured leg wouldn’t even give him a chance at survival. All his life he had spent running, ironic how it's the one thing he can no longer do. 

He shuffled up to the trail, leaning too much on his crutch for his liking. He had gone too far this time, he worried. There was no way he’d make it back before his leg gave up or the fire consumed the forest around him, taking him with it. 

The breeze blew in hot air that prickled on Neil’s exposed forearms, along with sounds of yelling. Screaming, either of horror or anger, Neil couldn’t focus enough to tell. Probably both. It had to be the Ravens, most other groups kept to themselves, and only attacked when they felt threatened, and from the sounds of gunfire and the explosion only moments prior this was no attack from the infected. Columbia doesn’t have the defenses to survive this, and all the noise would certainly draw in all the infected for miles. Columbia’s as good as gone, the infected would make a nest of it in no time. Anyone who wasn’t already killed or taken by the Ravens were merely sitting ducks, waiting to be picked off by the undead.

Neil had to move on, he had stuck around for far too long as is. The screaming continued but slowly got drowned out by Neil’s heartbeat pounding in his ears, he shivered with each haunting echo that followed him through the trees. He forced himself to move forward, all too ready to cover his ears when the noises became too much.

The panicked yells, desperate and clinging to life, hit Neil a little too close to home. He couldn’t help the images clouding his vision: the clean white walls and plethora of doctors in pristine scrubs. The butcher walked in while Neil’s mind drifted along with his swimming vision; far too drugged to defend himself, he groggily moved his wrists only to find them strapped down to the cold metal bed. Nathan wore a thin blue mask over his mouth, which couldn’t hide the monstrous smile Neil knew hid behind it. His doctor’s coat was torn and slung off of one shoulder, dark dried blood drenched his chest and stomach.

While squeezing his eyes shut he dug his fingernails into his palms. The thoughts plagued him day and night, and Neil did not have the time to fall too deep into memories. They would ruin him, tear him down and leave nothing worth salvaging. The smoke felt like it was closing in on him, like the air he breathed was thick and heavy and coarse like sand.

The forest grew denser the further he trekked into it, dead leaves crumbled under his clumsy feet, he cringed at the sound. The silence followed him as he made his way back, only growing thicker and harder to stand. He missed the days where the forest thrived in a constant state of motion and noise, birds chirping overhead, the roaring of the river, rabbits and squirrels scurrying around in the underbrush. Neil had no doubt that this was only the beginning, soon enough there would be nothing left alive.

Something rustled in the trees behind him. Neil stopped in his tracks, his breath caught and his hand wandered slowly to the gun strapped to his hip. Part of him prayed that it was an infected lurking behind him, better than a human; humans always proved to be more dangerous. Neil gripped the handle of his gun and turned to side-eye the approaching figure.

The last thing he saw before all of the air rushed from his lungs and he doubled over in pain, was a short man with silvery blond hair and a wickedly strong hit. He slammed a tree branch into Neil’s gut and threw him to the ground.

“What the fuck!” Neil wheezed from where his cheek pressed into the solid ground. A crushing weight poured all over him as the man stomped his heavy boot square in Neil’s back and held it there. Neil squirmed under his forceful heel.

“Wait,” a familiar voice said, “wait, Andrew, stop.”

Andrew didn’t relent his assertive stance.

“Nathaniel?” The voice asked, softer this time.

Neil thrashed from under Andrew’s boot. No, no, no. Neil hadn’t heard that name in ages and wherever Nathaniel was known nothing good followed. He tried to reach out to his pistol that he had dropped during the attack, his hand only made it a few inches before a thick palm encased his wrist and pinned it to the ground.

“What do you want?” Neil said, unable to look up from where his face buried itself in the dirt. He hoped the panic spreading into his voice and body was not noticeable to the onlookers.

“You’re not so tough, now are you, rabbit?” Andrew said from above him; his tone raspy and sharp.

“Andrew! Get off of him and let me see his face,” the other man whined. Andrew grunted and Neil could practically feel the man roll his eyes. The weight lifted from Neil’s back and wrist but he refused to move. He shoved his head determinedly away from where the other man squatted down beside him. “Nathaniel, is that you?”

Neil definitely knew that voice, familiar and deep. More of a reason to make a break for it, Neil had never been a fan of familiarity, not after all of the scars it had caused. He rolled onto his elbows and said, “Nathaniel's dead. Leave me alone.”

“Holy fuck, it is you. God what are you doing here? You can’t be here!”

Neil finally looked up at the man before him, he narrowed his eyes and tried to veil the fear that washed over him when he locked eyes with Kevin Day.

“Don’t you think I know that? I didn’t plan on staying, now if you’ll excuse me I’ll get out of your way.” Neil shuffled awkwardly to his knees, bracing his weight on his good side, and reached for his discarded pistol.

“Not so fast, rabbit.” Andrew kneed him in the gut. Neil fell on his back. Andrew’s mouth contorted into something sharp and rabid, “Better luck next time.”

“Could you stop doing that for two seconds? I’m kind of getting the impression you enjoy destroying my internal organs.”

The corners of Andrew’s lips quirked up slightly, “I’m glad you can read me so well.”

Kevin groaned from beside Neil and grabbed one of his forearms, forcing Neil to his feet. Neil wobbled at the unexpected weight on his left leg and had to steady himself on Kevin’s shoulder.

“We need to get out of here,” Kevin said.

“Yes, yes I do.” Neil adjusted his bag and bow over his shoulder and reached down to grab his crutch, not even looking for the gun which he was certain currently resided in the band of Andrew’s pants. Kevin held a hand to Neil’s chest, Neil refused to meet his eyes and instead focused on the hand that laid limply at Kevin’s side; bloodied and bandaged with cut outs from a t-shirt.

“What happened to you?” Neil asked, curious but uncaring.

“Riko,” Kevin replied, his voice wavered. Neil lifted his eyes to watch the unsteady downturn of Kevin’s mouth.

Neil smirked, “Once a traitor, always a traitor, should have listened to me when you had the chance, Day.” Neil stood a little taller, feeling less rattled and met Kevin’s eyes, all too happy to see the pain and embarrassment flashing through them.

“As much as I love watching reunions, this is getting too sappy for my taste. Kevin, move. I want to get a clear shot of his throat.” Andrew raised a knife and took a step closer to Neil.

Neil instinctively backed up.

“What? Andrew, no! You can’t kill him.”

“Blah, blah, blah. You know I can’t hear you when you speak nonsense.” Andrew said, flatly. “He’s a raven, I can’t just let him live.”

“Correction; I was a Raven. Emphasis on past tense.” Neil retorted, backing up until he was pushed up against a tree with Andrew’s solid frame invading his space.

Andrew drew closer and held the blade against Neil’s neck.

An explosion sounded in the distance.

Kevin flinched, but Andrew remained eerily still. His hazel eyes locked on Neil. Neil flickered his gaze between the exasperated and fearful looks Kevin shot at Andrew and the steely expression trained on him.

“They’re getting closer,” Neil whispered, afraid that if his throat constricted too much the blade would slice right through his skin. Andrew backed away, still holding his knife too closely to Neil for his comfort.

“I don’t trust you, and I will not risk anything to save you. You're on your own.”

Neil smirked, “Glad we could work that out.”

“Guys! Shut the fuck up and run!” Kevin yelled. Andrew rolled his eyes and led Kevin deeper into the forest, Neil had no choice but to follow.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you find any mistakes let me know. Comments are appreciated. :)

“So Kevin, who is this stabby stabby man, anyway?” Neil asked as they neared the clearing where Neil’s hideout resided. He couldn’t remember the last time he had purposefully conversed with Kevin, he had spent most of his time with the Ravens avoiding Riko and Kevin like the plague.

The smoke appeared to be dwindling, whether it be from the distance they had built between it, or if it had actually been extinguished. Neil was just glad that it was behind him.

“We have a deal,” Kevin replied, while cradling his injured hand to his chest.

Neil threw his free hand up in the air, “Like that explains anything.”

“It does.” Andrew flipped a knife in the air and caught it, Neil made sure to keep more space between him and the all-too-stab-friendly man. “It explains why he’s still alive and why I even bother keeping him around.”

Neil didn't bother to carry on the conversation. He held a hand over his eyes, trying to block out the sunlight and get a better view of the cabin coming into his vision a few meters ahead of them. He had told them about his temporary hideout and the small amount of supplies he had left. The closer they got to the cabin the more Neil started to regret divulging such information.

He should have just gotten out of there when he had the chance, it’s not like Kevin deserved his help, not after everything. It didn’t matter much to Neil that Kevin had helped him escape, one favor didn’t even begin to compare to the amount of abuse Kevin had turned a blind eye to. Neil hadn’t even been thinking when he suggested it, he just stared at the blood soaking through the make-shift bandage wrapped around Kevin’s hand and said he could help before a second thought. He didn’t want to owe Kevin for any longer.

“What’s the deal?” Neil asked. 

“Now that, rabbit,” Andrew pointed a knife at Neil’s chest, “is none of your business.”

Andrew pushed past Neil and led the group up to the house overlooking the clearing. An old cabin, half sitting on a rocky hill and the other half barely held up by wooden pillars. Neil had been living there for months but that certainly didn’t mean the living situation was comfortable. The holes in the floorboards and the civilization of mold that had long since formed in the kitchen could attest to that. Not that it mattered much to Neil, he had lived in worse places.

Neil struggled up the path behind them, hating himself for ever deciding to reside on the side of this god-forsaken mountain. His hip screamed at him to lay down and never get back up. It was far worse than usual, he shouldn’t have walked so far out, better yet he shouldn’t have left the foxes before he had completely healed. He’s not built for long walks in the forest, or the repetitive routes he used to take on his runs. He had gotten used to doing anything imaginable to leave his demons in the dust, and without the ability to use running as an outlet, he felt himself be tugged down into the caves where his devils laid. Escape seemed to be nothing more than a light at the edge of a never-ending tunnel. 

Injuries always had their way of sticking to Neil, whether it be ghosts of pain, or brutal scars covering his torso, or the monsters in his own head. 

He forced himself to trudge up the hill after the other men, he ended up lagging behind quite a bit and only reached the first step of the stairs leading to deck when Andrew made it to the front door. 

Andrew took no time to force himself into the house, not having the key he immediately resorted to kicking the door in. Neil cringed and leaned back on the railing to watch the scene unfold. Kevin whined about something and Andrew pointedly ignored him while he made his way into the kitchen to forage through Neil’s pile of stuff. Neil didn’t bother to try and understand what Kevin was saying, he’d learned years ago that it was always better to be out of the loop when it comes to Kevin.

Neil kicked off of the railing and limped into the house, closing the front door behind him. “Ah, yes, sir, please go through all of my things. I love a good ol’ home invasion.” 

Andrew threw one of Neil’s own shirts at him while he unloaded the contents of Neil’s duffle onto the kitchen table.

His duffle.

The importance of the bag hit Neil just a second too late. He stumbled over and pushed Andrew out of the way, leaving his crutch abandoned in the entryway. He shoved his clothes back into his duffle, relief flooding over him when he realized Andrew hadn’t made it to his binder yet.Andrew watched him from where he leaned against the refrigerator, arms crossed.

“Keeping secrets?”

“Got a problem with that?” Neil zipped his duffle and raised an eyebrow at Andrew.

“Yes,” Andrew answered simply.

Neil scoffed. “And here I thought you’d be a man who liked a little mystery.”

“Uh guys? Could you stop flirting? I’m kind of bleeding out over here,” Kevin piped in, accompanied by a low groan as he flopped unceremoniously onto the lumpy and stain-ridden couch. “Booze would be appreciated.”

“Nice to see you’re still a raging alcoholic. Who said people couldn’t change.” Neil said, voice thick with a layer of sarcasm.

“Stuff it, Wesnisnski.”

Neil cringed at the name but was swiftly saved by Andrew leaning in and asking where the medical supplies were.

“Cabinet under the sink,” Neil said.

Andrew’s eyes flickered between Neil and Kevin; suspicious but infuriatingly blank, before turned on his heels and left for the bathroom. He didn't bother to ask where the bathroom was, but the house was small enough for Neil to assume he could find his way around.

Neil gazed down at the duffle under his hands and cursed himself for being so forgetful, he was only supposed to be away for an hour tops. He shouldn’t have brought them back with him. A deep fear rooted in the bottom of his gut, a fear that was accompanied by a swarm of thoughts that he had just made the biggest mistake of his life. Riko wouldn’t just let Kevin go so easily, would he?

Neil had broken every single one of his mother’s rules before her body had even hit the ground. He could imagine the anger in her eyes if she saw the man he was becoming, he could feel the harsh weight of her phantom fists against his skin. Neil doubled over and gripped the countertop for dear life. Not now, he reprimanded himself.

A warm hand grasped the back of his neck and pushed him forward, his hip dug uncomfortably into the counter and his face was far too close to being submerged in the old dishes piled up in the sink.

“Why’d you do that?!” Neil spun around and glared at a blank-faced Andrew.

“I don’t have the time nor energy to deal with,” he motioned toward Neil’s entire body, “whatever that was.”

Neil blew a piece of hair out of his eyes, “Wow, how considerate of you.”

Andrew ignored him, lifted up the first-aid kit with one hand, and stalked away to Kevin. Neil scoffed and shoved his duffle into an empty cabinet. He held his face in his hands and watched the slim glimpses of light that slid through the slivers of space between the blinds. The day had met its end. Orange and red beams danced across the wood floor, climbing and dipping with the furniture and the sharp lines of Andrews face. His eyes darkened by thick shadows and his blond hair lit aflame by the dying sunlight.Neil swallowed hard and forced himself to look anywhere else.

Kevin groaned and slumped further down on the couch, while Andrew continued to pull a bandage tightly around Kevin’s hand; either unaware of the extra pain he’s causing or all too delighted about it. Neil’s mouth quirked up at the thought of Andrew sharing his favorite pastime of making Kevin suffer.

“Your medical supplies are practically useless.” Andrew called out as he pushed Kevin back into the cushion and got to his feet.

“Not my fault,” Neil said, carefully lowering himself into a stool and unscrewing a cap to a water bottle. He rubbed at his hip absentmindedly. it ached too bad to care about any unwarranted attention he could be drawing. It's not like Kevin and Andrew hadn't seen him with his crutch. He looked into the living room and met Kevin’s eyes, they were blood-shot and lined with tears.

He eyed Neil warily, “You’re leg okay?”

“I’m fine,” Neil huffed and removed his hand from his sore leg.

“You sure? Because-”

“Look, Kevin, I’m not the one with the broken hand. Focus on that.”

“But-“ Kevin started, but Neil cut him off, quick and decisive, not able to deal with Kevin’s faux worry.

“Don’t start acting like you care now. It’s a little late don’t you think?” Neil glared at Kevin. 

“We need better supplies,” Andrew said, drawing Neil’s attention away from his staring contest with Kevin. “I’ll go into town tomorrow.”

Kevin’s jaw dropped, “You’re just going to leave me here?”

“Why not? Riko’s already done his damage to the area, he’s probably assumed you're long gone by now, and it’s not like we can get much traveling done with you bleeding out all over the place.”

“You can trust me to kill him while you’re gone.” Neil said, propping his leg up on stool next to him, and taking a swig of water. 

“I think you mean ‘not to kill’.” Kevin said, voice wavering.

Neil smirked. “I didn’t.”

“He didn’t.” Andrew said at the same time.

Andrew turned to him and raised an eyebrow, and Neil couldn't help the rush of warmth that dusted across his cheeks. Andrew swiped the bottle out of Neil’s hands and took a drink before responding, ignoring Neil’s cry of indignation.

“I don’t trust you," he pointed a finger at Neil, which Neil brushed away. "You’re coming with me.”

Neil did not like that.

“He’s going to kill me, isn’t he?” Neil asked Kevin as he tried to grab the water bottle away from Andrew, who swerved it out of reach.

“Not unlikely.”

“How fun,” Neil buried his head in his hands.

“I’m not going to kill you, Nathaniel,” Andrew said his name like it was poison on his tongue, “I know all about you, you may be of some use to me.”

“It’s Neil,” Neil corrected.

Kevin eyed between them, unapproving.

“We should leave in the morning, Riko should be far enough away by then,” Neil suggested.

Andrew nodded and searched through the pile of food he’d stolen from the kitchen, picking out a bag of licorice before disappearing out the deck door without a word.

Neil wanted to ask Kevin if Andrew always acted like that, but refused to give Kevin even the smallest impression that they could be friends. He shuffled over to grab his crutch, the pain growing to be too much to move on his own. When Kevin’s breathing slowed down and his continuous stream of whining abruptly stopped, Neil walked over to take a look at him. He loomed over the couch to see Kevin. The man laid slack jawed and drooling all over his pillow. A loud snore filled the silence of the living room, caught between a goose honk and a car starting up. Neil cringed away and after a second of consideration followed Andrew out on the deck.

Andrew stood, leaning against the rickety and worn wood railing, in only a short sleeved shirt and black armbands stretched over his thick forearms. Neil shivered in the early-evening breeze and pulled his jacket closer over his chest. Andrew didn’t acknowledge him when he joined him a few feet away, mimicking his stance. The trees stood a stark shadowy black against the dying red sky, the smoke from the fire nearly invisible now.

“Aren’t you freezing?” Neil asked, keeping his eyes on what he could see of the horizon through the dense forest.

Andrew didn’t reply. Neil spared a moment to look at him through the corner of his eye and immediately regretted it. Andrew’s skin glowed in the growing moonlight, and his eyes were dark with mystery and lurking shadows. Neil had to look away before his heart sped up too quickly and carried his thoughts to undesirable places. Places he’d never been allowed to go.

Neil swallowed hard, “How do you know Kevin?”

“Do you ever shut up?” Andrew took a drag of his cigarette.

“Not really, no,” Neil said while smiling to himself, feeling oddly sheepish and no longer sure what to do with his hands.

Andrew shuffled on his feet to face Neil, “I don’t give out information for free. If you want answers you’ll have to give them, too."

"Truth for truth,” Neil said, trying to ignore the way his chest constricted. Truth wasn’t something he understood. It was a false sense of security he could never afford to risk. His response came quick and surprised even himself, “Okay, I can do that.”

“We only met a few days ago, I was tracking the Raven’s and went after him when Riko broke his hand and kicked him to the curb.”

“Then you made a deal to protect him,” Neil observed, “Why?”

“You’ve already filled your question quota. If you’re this bad at following simple instructions we may have a problem.” He paused and eyed Neil up and down. “Why are you running from the Butcher?”

Neil leaned his forearms against the railing. “Is the fact that he wants me dead not enough?”

“Okay, I guess the better question is: why is he chasing you?” Andrew flipped around and placed his elbows on either side of his body, back facing the forest and smoke trailing in wisps out of his pursed lips.

“We defied him and ran. He wants revenge,” Neil partially lied. Honesty was a commodity he couldn’t yield to, not yet at least.

Andrew narrowed his eyes, as if looking straight through his lies, but dropped the subject. He took the last bit of cigarette out of his mouth and crushed it against the railing. “Night, rabbit.” 

Neil followed him inside, without bothering to reply. Despite Andrew's dismissal he didn't go to bed just yet, he sprawled out in a rocking chair and watched Neil's every move as he lit a fire in the fireplace. Neil pulled the squirrel that had been wasting away in his bag all evening, he had almost forgotten about it in the midst of everything going on. He left Andrew brooding in the living room to go skin the squirrel outside. He tried to shake off the tingling feeling that floated over his skin, a result from Andrew's attention.

He closed the sliding door behind him when he reentered and left the squirrel to roast over the fire. He didn’t feel much like sharing, but when it was done cooking, Andrew swooped in and took some meat for himself before disappearing into the guest bedroom. Kevin was still passed out and oblivious to the meal he'd missed out on, and Neil couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty even if he tried. He held his head in his hands, exhausted and entirely confused. What had he gotten himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously chapters won't always come out this quickly, but right now I've got about 15K words of this finished. If I had known writing fanfiction would be a way to get me to actually write, and write a lot, I would have started a long time ago.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it down here, hi! This story is going to be fairly long, I've already gotten a few chapters written. I don't have a beta so if you see any mistakes let me know. Comments would be appreciated, I am so unbelievably nervous about posting this.


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